It’s another Friday again. My body and mind doesn’t want to go school again. It’s so unwilling to move on till I had to use daily grade to force it move. I slept for another half an hour late today. Mum not working today. The reason I don’t want to go school today was for another reason. I don’t want to see Addison. His pms, arrogant face. His fucking attitude. Pretending to be nice when the facilitator is around. Always accusing me of doing nothing. While I did the worksheet all by me and the rest was doing nothing. See his fucking face spoils my mood. Anyway, it doesn’t matter no more. My mood was already spoilt yesterday. Yup. By the people of archery. I also don’t want to remember this anymore. But I feel that they never give me a chance to voice out what I really wanted to say. Especially someone.
I’m not going to say the person’s name here. Since they are so capable, why ask me for my idea. When they don’t like it anyway. It’s a waste of my time. I already told them that I’ll be quitting. I don’t know for how many times I have say I wanted to quit this fucking CCA. But the reason I stay was because of my perseverance, I wanted to do something for this club. But what I get is all this fucking shit. Whatever. What I get is all getting accused by them. And I don’t think I can get anything better or anything other than that. I’m on the train now, and I feel terrible bore. I want to stay at home. My soul has been ripping to pieces. The hungry souls are tearing my soul apart and eat it. And my bones have billions of holes. All being chew up by worm and bugs. I feel sickly.
I had my hair cut on Wednesday, and this time, I had it cut short. And hair dyed to natural brown. Look so refreshing and good after having long hair for so long. I did not have regret at all. Another few more stops I’ll reach school. My bus is late today, 15 minutes late. I took bus to the interchange before I board the train. But everything seems so slow today. How I wish today was a holiday, where I could do anything I want. Stay at home or go to my secret place. Looking out at the scenery and do some soul searching. But I don’t think I have any soul. The moment I think of Addison, my motivation went into the thin air. I hope the problem today will be easy today and time will pass by faster. I don’t think I could stay there not even a minute long. I want to get out. Out of that fucking place.