Today the 31st of October. It’s my dad’s birthday. And yet no one is celebrating for him. I’m still busying searching for my sister. I wonder where she is. Hopefully God can answer my prayer. I pray to God that to bless my sister and her 2 young children to be safe and sound. I’m worried sick. And so do my mum. I know life still have to go on even in a situation like this. I keep thinking to myself that when is she going to grow up and be mature. When will I stop worrying for her? When will all this stuffs going to end? Till the day I die? I think that I’m going to die early.
I’m not kidding here. If all these things not going to end, I’m really going to die early. I’m already having mental break down last year till now. And it didn’t stop at all. I hate myself to be in such situation. Why do I have to face all such things at this early age? I should be having fun, enjoying my life and youth at the age. But no, I’m facing such things. “Where the hell have you been?” I want to ask her if I see her. White hairs are appearing more and I’m aging at a fast speed. I should be happy more instead of being sad all the time. God, have you been unfair to be? Can’t you make my sister be more mature and responsible? I have enough of such events happening all the time. I don’t know how much and how much longer I can take and endure it. I am going to be crazy.
Tomorrow is a public holiday. And I’ve no plans for myself. I wonder what I should do for tomorrow. I want to visit my granny, but due to some reason, I don’t want to go. People might say, your motive is to visit my granny what for I care about the reason. But to me, I don’t want to visit someone so unhappily.
17.56 p.m. I just reach home and just submitted my RJ. I finished it before typing this entry. This is my question: “What kind of RJ question do you like? Give an example.” The first time I saw this question, I couldn’t think of anything to write. Because I have no idea how to reply back. Though Friso is a good facilitator, but I can’t write crap in there. At least have something more logical. Couldn’t take advantage of his good side.
All alone at home at the moment. Listening to music as usual. Still typing this entry. I ate lot things today. First thing in the morning was bread, nasi lemak, spaghetti with Hwee Wun when I accompanied her to send her phone for repair over at DND. Then a coffee cheese cake which Amy brought back from secret recipe. I shared with Steven. Because I can’t swallow anything in anymore. Eat too much food, which means gain more weight. And also means have to run a few more rounds. But I called my dad not to buy my dinner tonight. I’m still very full at the moment. And I think I won’t be hungry anymore.
Speaking of today, I’m damn pissed off this early morning. It’s raining damn heavily, and was late for lesson. I went to school with wanting today and we took bus 32 to school. Since it was raining that heavily, we have to use our umbrellas and cross over the road in order to get into the school. When I reached the school gate and was pushing the gate to open, a guy ran towards the gate and pushed me aside so that he could get into the school first. Damn him! Because of him I was even later to attend lesson and was drenched because of his push. Baka….! I would never forget this event and I make sure that I hunt him down. Going to make him regret to push a lady away when it’s raining.
Going to end here, because nothing to write anymore.