Saturday, November 26, 2005, I’m typing this entry this early morning after I finished my morning chores. And for these few days, I won’t be a hapiwabbit, it would be a sadwabbit. Feeling rather low, because the incident yesterday struck me deeply into my heart and my thoughts. Why? I’ll go back to yesterday and type in what I remember here. Friday, November 25, 2005, it was my best pal, meiling’s father birthday. But yet it turned out to be his death day. It was shocking news for me as her friend. I was the only one she informed right after she got the news from the police. And it’s more heartbreaking than shocking to her entire family. Tears rushed out from my eyes uncontrollably. I feel the pain to see her in such a painful state. What makes me feel even worse was her mother, losing such a good husband; her heart was broken into uncountable pieces. He not only was a good husband, he’s such a good father.
He would wake up early in the morning before everyone in the house has waken up, to do the cleaning of clothes, went out to buy breakfast for his beloved family. Yet yesterday was the last time my friend ate the breakfast that her father brought for her. I skipped lesson and rushed to her house. I reached before she, her family and her relatives arrived home. I had never seen her in this way before. It breaks my heart to see her in such a way. I couldn’t do anything but to just stand by her and console her. She kept yelling “Ah pa, come back home!” Hearing this makes me feel even painful for her. When reaching her house, both she and her mother broke down to the ground, crying bitterly, blaming “Guan Yin” which she placed in her house to pray, that why didn’t “Guan Yin” bless her father, the husband to be safe and sound.
Things settle down after a long time of crying. And I had to leave early as I had an appointment to rush. Deep down in my heart, I’m feeling sorry for my friend to lose her kin in such a manner. I blamed myself for not being able to help her much. There’s nothing I could do. I haven’t type in the reason why her father died hasn’t I? After he brought the breakfast home, he rushed out for his work. He worked as a gas carrier. But when he somewhere reached “I don’t know how to spell the name of the place” his heart attack suddenly struck him. There beside him was his colleague, though he did called for 995, but it was still too late. He’s gone. He died his car in the middle of the road. Causes traffic jam.
After I reached home, I have this feeling of worrying about my parents, my grandparents, my love ones and those who are closed to me. I’m afraid that they might leave this world and left me alone. I know that everyone has to walk that path, but it’s just a matter of time. Yet I’m being so selfishly hoping they would be safe and sound, and be with me till the end of time. My day yesterday was full of sorrows. I make myself to eat and watch the shows to make me forget the pain. But yet, it didn’t help. My most sensitive word now is “die”. Though, I feel better than yesterday, but the memories won’t be able to go away. It’s going to be there forever and I’ll remember it forever. I have attend a good lesson because I’ve learn to treasure them before time’s up.